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Supporting a Loved One Struggling with Addiction

Loving someone who is battling addiction to drugs or alcohol can be incredibly challenging. Their substance use may not only harm them but also affect your well-being. You may be willing to go to great lengths to help them seek professional treatment, but convincing them to take that step is often the most difficult part. Even when they acknowledge their need for help, they may waver in their commitment. So, what can you do to support them?

In their 2022 Access to Care Survey, the National Council for Mental Wellbeing reported that 43% of U.S. adults who recognized a need for substance use or mental health care in the past year did not receive it. Barriers such as cost, availability, waiting lists, and proximity to care prevent many from accessing the help they need. Understanding these challenges is the first step toward helping your loved one navigate them.

Step 1: Express Your Concern

When your loved one shows signs of addiction, start with an open and empathetic conversation. Choose a moment when they are sober, and approach the topic with care. Instead of blaming or shaming, use “I” statements to share your perspective. For instance, you could say, “I’m worried about your drinking” or “I’ve noticed changes in you, and I’m concerned.”

You can also share how their behavior affects you. For example:

  • “I feel frustrated that you’ve been missing work.”
  • “It worries me to leave the kids with you when you’re drinking.”

If they resist or walk away, give them time and try again later. If they remain unwilling to talk, consider seeking advice from professionals, friends, or family members who understand addiction.

Step 2: Offer Practical Help

If your loved one agrees they need help but doesn’t know where to start, offer to support them in tangible ways. Begin by asking, “How can I help you?” and then take steps like:

  • Researching treatment options: Whether it’s inpatient programs, therapy, or recovery groups like AA or NA, help them explore options.
  • Handling logistics: Set up appointments, contact detox or treatment centers, and assist with insurance checks.
  • Providing transportation: Drive them to appointments or the treatment facility. If they ask, stay with them during parts of the admissions process.
  • Supporting their household: Offer to help with childcare, household tasks, or financial responsibilities while they are in treatment.
  • Covering costs: If possible and comfortable, contribute to expenses like deductibles or co-pays.

Step 3: Set Boundaries if They Refuse Treatment

If your loved one refuses treatment, it’s important to protect your well-being by setting boundaries. Boundaries clarify what you will and will not tolerate while maintaining your emotional, physical, and mental health.

Examples of boundaries include:

  • “I will leave the conversation if I am not treated with respect.”
  • “You cannot bring alcohol or drugs into the house.”
  • “If you come home intoxicated, you will need to stay elsewhere until sober.”
  • “I will not let you be alone with the children.”
  • “I will not cover for you or lie on your behalf.”

Boundaries are not about punishment—they are about ensuring that your actions don’t enable their addiction. Clear boundaries can encourage your loved one to take responsibility for their behavior.

Step 4: Seek Professional Support for Yourself

Helping someone with addiction can take a toll on your mental health. Seeking support for yourself is crucial. If your loved one enters treatment, many programs offer family therapy or education sessions to help rebuild relationships.

In addition, consider:

  • Individual therapy: A therapist can help you process your feelings and develop coping strategies.
  • Support groups: Al-Anon and similar groups provide a network of individuals who understand your challenges.

Let Pacific Sky Recovery Center Help

At Pacific Sky Recovery Center in Bellevue, Washington, we provide a safe, supportive environment for individuals beginning their recovery journey. Our dedicated team of doctors, nurses, and therapists helps clients detox, establish a foundation for recovery, and rebuild relationships with their families.

Contact us today to learn more about how we can support you and your loved one on the path to healing.

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